hate, rain on me: Archive

4 tags

Apr 1st

3,414 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

1,083 notes

Apr 1st

233 notes

holmes-comma-sherlock: ihopericksantorum: I hope Rick Santorum wins the Mega Millions and loses the ticket. And then Barack Obama walks out of a coffee shop and finds that ticket on the ground.

Apr 1st

1,342 notes

Apr 1st

17,123 notes

Apr 1st

74,628 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

27 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

621 notes

2 tags

Apr 1st

5,303 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

264 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

14,097 notes

1 tag

woobattier: me whenever i send my girlfriend something dumb and flirty:

Apr 1st

58 notes

Apr 1st

1,170 notes

Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously. 
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.